Band 9 model essay for the IELTS Writing Task 2 question:
Band 9 Model Essay
Pollution has become one of the most pressing global challenges, affecting the environment, public health, and future sustainability. While some argue that individuals should take responsibility for reducing pollution, others contend that this duty lies primarily with governments and large organizations. This essay will explore both perspectives before offering a personal viewpoint.
On one hand, individuals play a crucial role in combating pollution through their daily choices and habits. Simple actions such as reducing plastic use, recycling waste, using public transport, and conserving energy at home can collectively make a significant difference. For instance, when individuals choose to walk or cycle instead of using cars, it directly reduces air pollution and greenhouse gas emissions. Moreover, a shift in consumer behavior can pressure industries to adopt environmentally friendly practices, creating a ripple effect throughout society.
On the other hand, governments and corporations possess the authority and resources to implement large-scale changes that individuals cannot achieve alone. Governments can enact strict environmental regulations, invest in renewable energy, and fund research into sustainable technologies. Similarly, large organizations, especially in manufacturing, agriculture, and transport sectors, are often the largest contributors to pollution. These entities have the capacity to reform their operations, reduce emissions, and adopt green technologies on a wide scale. Without the commitment of these powerful institutions, individual efforts may have only limited impact.
In my opinion, while individual actions are important, the responsibility to reduce pollution should primarily rest on governments and large organizations. They have the ability to create systemic changes that can address the root causes of pollution. However, this does not absolve individuals of responsibility. A collective effort, where authorities enforce environmental laws and individuals adopt sustainable lifestyles, is essential for achieving meaningful progress.
In conclusion, reducing pollution is a shared responsibility. While individual actions can contribute significantly, lasting change requires strong leadership and decisive action from governments and large organizations. A coordinated approach involving both parties offers the most effective path forward.
Word Count: 351
------------------------------------------------------Examiner’s Feedback (Band 9)
Task Response:
All aspects of the task are addressed thoroughly. The essay discusses both views clearly and presents a well-developed personal opinion. Ideas are supported with relevant and specific examples.
Band: 9
Coherence and Cohesion:
The essay is logically organized with excellent paragraphing. Transitions and cohesive devices are used skillfully to create a smooth flow of ideas.
Band: 9
Lexical Resource:
Vocabulary is precise, sophisticated, and appropriate for the topic. Phrases such as "systemic changes," "environmentally friendly practices," and "sustainable technologies" show strong lexical control.
Band: 9
Grammatical Range and Accuracy:
A wide variety of sentence structures are used effectively with full grammatical accuracy. There are no noticeable errors.
Band: 9
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